Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Welcome to the Jungle....

I never ever, ever should have turned the radio on this morning.

I should have just left the TV on and grooved to the musical numbers from the Backyardigans on Treehouse.

Instead, I randomly selected a radio station and the first song I heard was Guns 'N Roses 'Welcome To The Jungle'.

Now normally I crank up this song when I hear it....but his morning I just had this bad feeling about it....it was like a premonition of what was to come.

And I was right in my musically based fears.
The damn song was my fate for the remainder of the day.
The song followed me around EVERYWHERE.
And it wasn't a good thing [no offence to Axl Rose and company]

Damn those music gods.

It was like that song switched on the 'full moon crisis mode' in both of my children.
Non &^^%%$# stop since they woke up.
One meltdown after another.
When one crisis was resolved another was one brewing, waiting to explode.

And then Mummy reached her 'that's it I've had it' point.
That happened when Matteo pushed Isabella into the row of toy bins in his room.
[He's had the 'don't push your baby sister' lecture more times that I can count]
So I took Isabella to her room and told Matteo he was having a nap whether he liked it or not [and he didn't...the kid hasn't napped since he was 15 months old...yes I have a slight hate-on for parents whose kids nap, but I digress] and I closed the door and walked away.

According to my calculations, crying fit #145 of the day took place.
Matteo kept getting out of his bed, would kick his door and tell me that he was going to hit me because he was so mad.
I just kept marching back in, kept repeating that he was being punished for continuously pushing his sister around and he was going to lie down on his bed until I told him he could get up.
Eventually, after 22 long minutes of the back and forth routine, he finally fell asleep.

And I felt like shit.
Damn the guilt.
I hate being the hard ass. Even though it seems to be my role more often than not.
I felt bad for coming down on Matteo, when in his defence I couldn't really blame him.
He's a such a good kid at heart but his sister annoys him on a daily basis.
And like any adult, he has a breaking point too.

See his sister Isabella is one VERY determined 1 year old girl.
She hard headed, very emotional and clearly loves and adores her brother.
And the only way she can show how much she loves him is to be around him as often as she can and that includes doing EVERYTHING that he's doing all the time.
What Matteo is eating she wants.
What Matteo is playing with she wants.
What Matteo is reading she wants.

Truth is Matteo can never get a moment to himself.
And forget about getting cuddling alone time with Mummy and Daddy
That alone can send Isabella into a screaming tantrum.
She may be only one but she's clearly has the attitude of a girl going on 15.
So help me when she hits those teenage years.
If nothing else, she's 100% confirmed that my husband and I are done having children.
She is, at times, 3 kids rolled into one.

I know that one day Matteo will be Isabella's biggest defender and protector.
He will ease into that big brother role and Isabella, like any younger sister does, will love him and hate him all that the same time for constantly watching out for her.
I know that time will come.
But for now his 3 year old mind only sees her as the baby sister that bugs him everyday and never leaves him alone.

After 30 minutes I went back into Matteo's room to wake him up. It was his first real nap in almost 2 years.
The first thing he did when he opened his big, beautiful brown eyes was get up and give me the biggest bear hug and he say 'Mommy, I love you so much...I am so sorry I got mad at Isabella...I won't be mad at her anymore, I love you so much Mommy...more than anything in the whole world....just hug me for a little bit, it'll make me feel better."
And I did and my heart melted a thousand times over.

For it was in that one moment that I knew why we have kids and we willingly endure all those tantrums and days from hell.
Because you know that your children have this unconditional love for you and you really are the most important things to them [teddy not included].....
That is until the parental coolness factor starts to lose its luster.
But until then, it truly is the greatest feeling in the world.

And the beauty was, it almost made me forget the completely crappy 'welcome to the jungle' day from hell that this mummy was having.
But tomorrow morning the radio stays off....Backyardigans it is.

1 comment:

Karen MEG said...

This is motherhood at its finest... that scene sounds awfully familiar.

The dynamics of the siblings will always be there, I'm afraid. I'm the bad guy in this household, and I feel the guilt 10 fold as my boy is by all accounts a wonderboy, always has been 24/7...except when it comes to his sister. Who is the diva incarnate. And inspires him to be such a shit disturber.

When she was born my boy was almost 5, so he had a good run of being the solo snuggler, but it's easy for him to get lost in the shuffle because he's bigger and we expect him to "know better". As he should. But he needs to know we don't love him any less.

You're doing good, but the Backyardigans do jungle too, don't they ;)?