Dear Genoa City

CBS Television City
Hollywood, California
CC: Bell Dramatic Serial Company
Corday Productions, Inc.
Sony Pictures Television

Dear Young & The Restless Writers;

I write this letter as an old friend who been around as a faithful viewer for a long, long time.

I started watching the sordid lives of Genoa City residents since I was a young and impressionable 13 years old. (I'm now 38 so you do the math...but it's been a long time).

So as a friend, north of the border...in that big mass of land called 'Canada'...I've got to call you out on your use of 'Canadianisms' on the show. And how insanely inaccurate they are.

I must admit when Canadian fans hear anything Canadian (like when Lauren shipped off her son, that she had with Dr. Scott Grainger, to Toronto to protect him from crazy Sheila) we get a little giddy. But I must confess that the giddiness lately has been short-lived and now turns to flat out mocking when we see how 'off' your attempts to include a Canadian plot to your story lines are.

So this isn't a hate mail....just a refresher on a few things Canadian that you got wrong in the last few months.

1. First off, apparently someone on your writing staff has a little crush on RCMP Constable Benton Fraser from the now defunct TV show 'Due South'. Because remember when Michael and Daniel raced at warp speed** across the border to go find that evil, crazy Daisy? And they needed help from the Canadian police....and RCMP man showed up at the door?

**I say warp speed because Canada is the second largest country in the world...so maybe just maybe you could go two or three commercial breaks before people reach their destination in Canada. We're a big country so it take a little time to get where you need to go...private plane or not...from Genoa City.

Umm yeah. We actually have regular police officers here, just like in the US and they don't show up in a felt hat, scarlet serge tunic, blue serge breeches, long boots, jack spurs, brown gauntlets and brown leather gloves. So you might want to update the Y&R costume department.

2. The Ottawa - Water District plot. Oh this one amused us so especially Victor parachuting his way into Ottawa. I've lived in Ottawa all my life and was completely unaware that we in fact had a 'water district'. Twitter and Facebook was all a buzz with Ottawa residents trying to figure out what touristy Ottawa spot one of your writers had Googled to work this seedy, criminal laden, ghetto looking bar run by crazy Maggie into the Y&R story line.

All we could come up with was the Dow's Lake Pavillion.

But with that said Lago, Malone's Lakeside Grill and Mexicali Rosa's don't exactly conjure up images of that bar from hell that Maggie ran. Also not really a plausible plot that anyone could make a getaway in a water craft or sea plane along the Rideau Canal...unless of course one Jack Bauer was planning the getaway.

And finally....

3. We are thrilled to pieces that crazy Daisy is coming back to Genoa City and leaving Canada. (Really how about sending some of your Genoa City crazies south of your border for a while to go hide a out and plot their next devious plan of terror and mayhem). Only problem was that the scene where Daisy focused her crazy eyes on her one way bus ticket back to Genoa City, it showed that she was leaving from Saskatoon, Ontario.
So so close. But yet so so far. You got the Saskatoon part right....just not the province.

See Saskatoon is actually two provinces to the west of Ontario...in Saskatchewan.  And I doubt there is direct bus route for the record. But I digress.

Now as I write this my husband is mocking me for spending even a second writing this because after all, Young And The Restless is a soap opera...so it's make believe. But thing is I've devoted a lot of time many years to the show, so as a loyal viewer, I figured that friends tell friends the truth and call them out on things that they do wrong.

Consider it tough love.

So my work here is done.

Actually, no. Just two more things.

1. Please do something with Victoria's hair...really it's getting out of control. She's starting to remind me of Junior Gorg, of the family of giant furry humanoids, from Jim Henson's TV show 'Fraggle Rock'...

Really because sometimes too much hair is just way too much hair.

And

2. Please, please try and convince Billy Milly to stay on after his contract expires. This hawt Southern boy with the sexy smirk and dreamy eyes has become the only reason I tune in day in and day out....

Le sigh.

So in an effort to improve your knowledge about the country to the north of you...we're supposed to be BFFs don't you know...I'm sending along a Canadian care package that my friend Matty (Matthew Solomon) has graciously agreed to deliver to you at the CBS Studios. FYI he's also a brilliant actor in Los Angeles and would make a fine addition to your cast but I digress.

In this care package you'll find a case of Canada Dry, real Canadian maple syrup, Canadian bacon, ketchup chips and one badly needed updated map of Canada.

No need to thank me.

It's what friends do.  Eh.

Signed,
Me (a long time fan)