Wednesday, June 01, 2011

Dear Genoa City

CBS Television City
Hollywood, California
CC: Bell Dramatic Serial Company
Corday Productions, Inc.
Sony Pictures Television

Dear Young & The Restless Writers;

I write this letter as an old friend who been around as a faithful viewer for a long, long time.

I started watching the sordid lives of Genoa City residents since I was a young and impressionable 13 years old. (I'm now 38 so you do the math...but it's been a long time).

So as a friend, north of the that big mass of land called 'Canada'...I've got to call you out on your use of 'Canadianisms' on the show. And how insanely inaccurate they are.

I must admit when Canadian fans hear anything Canadian (like when Lauren shipped off her son, that she had with Dr. Scott Grainger, to Toronto to protect him from crazy Sheila) we get a little giddy. But I must confess that the giddiness lately has been short-lived and now turns to flat out mocking when we see how 'off' your attempts to include a Canadian plot to your story lines are.

So this isn't a hate mail....just a refresher on a few things Canadian that you got wrong in the last few months.

1. First off, apparently someone on your writing staff has a little crush on RCMP Constable Benton Fraser from the now defunct TV show 'Due South'. Because remember when Michael and Daniel raced at warp speed** across the border to go find that evil, crazy Daisy? And they needed help from the Canadian police....and RCMP man showed up at the door?

**I say warp speed because Canada is the second largest country in the maybe just maybe you could go two or three commercial breaks before people reach their destination in Canada. We're a big country so it take a little time to get where you need to go...private plane or not...from Genoa City.

Umm yeah. We actually have regular police officers here, just like in the US and they don't show up in a felt hat, scarlet serge tunic, blue serge breeches, long boots, jack spurs, brown gauntlets and brown leather gloves. So you might want to update the Y&R costume department.

2. The Ottawa - Water District plot. Oh this one amused us so especially Victor parachuting his way into Ottawa. I've lived in Ottawa all my life and was completely unaware that we in fact had a 'water district'. Twitter and Facebook was all a buzz with Ottawa residents trying to figure out what touristy Ottawa spot one of your writers had Googled to work this seedy, criminal laden, ghetto looking bar run by crazy Maggie into the Y&R story line.

All we could come up with was the Dow's Lake Pavillion.

But with that said Lago, Malone's Lakeside Grill and Mexicali Rosa's don't exactly conjure up images of that bar from hell that Maggie ran. Also not really a plausible plot that anyone could make a getaway in a water craft or sea plane along the Rideau Canal...unless of course one Jack Bauer was planning the getaway.

And finally....

3. We are thrilled to pieces that crazy Daisy is coming back to Genoa City and leaving Canada. (Really how about sending some of your Genoa City crazies south of your border for a while to go hide a out and plot their next devious plan of terror and mayhem). Only problem was that the scene where Daisy focused her crazy eyes on her one way bus ticket back to Genoa City, it showed that she was leaving from Saskatoon, Ontario.
So so close. But yet so so far. You got the Saskatoon part right....just not the province.

See Saskatoon is actually two provinces to the west of Saskatchewan.  And I doubt there is direct bus route for the record. But I digress.

Now as I write this my husband is mocking me for spending even a second writing this because after all, Young And The Restless is a soap it's make believe. But thing is I've devoted a lot of time many years to the show, so as a loyal viewer, I figured that friends tell friends the truth and call them out on things that they do wrong.

Consider it tough love.

So my work here is done.

Actually, no. Just two more things.

1. Please do something with Victoria's hair...really it's getting out of control. She's starting to remind me of Junior Gorg, of the family of giant furry humanoids, from Jim Henson's TV show 'Fraggle Rock'...

Really because sometimes too much hair is just way too much hair.


2. Please, please try and convince Billy Milly to stay on after his contract expires. This hawt Southern boy with the sexy smirk and dreamy eyes has become the only reason I tune in day in and day out....

Le sigh.

So in an effort to improve your knowledge about the country to the north of you...we're supposed to be BFFs don't you know...I'm sending along a Canadian care package that my friend Matty (Matthew Solomon) has graciously agreed to deliver to you at the CBS Studios. FYI he's also a brilliant actor in Los Angeles and would make a fine addition to your cast but I digress.

In this care package you'll find a case of Canada Dry, real Canadian maple syrup, Canadian bacon, ketchup chips and one badly needed updated map of Canada.

No need to thank me.

It's what friends do.  Eh.

Me (a long time fan)


Bubbie Bonnie said...

Thank goodness someone pointed out all these errors to the writers of Y&R. Guess fact checking is not in your vocabulary or maybe not in your budget! It should be. You embarrassed yourselves. A lot of Canadians watch Y&R (maybe less now). Smarten up.

Tina Weatherill Loveridge said...

Love it... and yes please do something with Victorias hair!!!! someone give the girl a hair brush thats a start!!!!!!!!

Sandra Rodrigues Musitano said...

hanks for the chuckle :) Well written!

Nancy Slater Hunt said...

Love. :)

Stephanie Kirby said...

ha! that's hilarious and (as always) well written :)

Samantha Corber Sirk said...

Love this!

Alexandra Lada Imerti said...

Victoria's hair is driving me crazy!

Lidia Petrella said...

We, the Y & R fans care, we notice everything, that friggin hair on Victoria...did the hairdresser quit the show?

Ha M Nguyen said...

And of all places in Canada, they choose Saskatoon? Seriously?

Celia Clemmings said...

I do remember the whole "Maggie" thing. She was from Ottawa "the water district". LOl what water district????

Danielle Eskinazi said...

great post and she is def right about one thing ..Matt Solomon is a great actor and needs to be on your soap.

a casting director in Los Angeles :)

Anonymous said...

Just FYI, Victoria (Amelia H.) does her own hair, according to George Guzman (head hairstylist for y&r), he confirmed it via twitter.

Lynnie said...

LOVED this! I also grew up in Ottawa, and didn't realize that a) we had a seedy waterfront, and b) you needed to hire a boat to get from Ottawa to Hull.

And, yesterday when I saw that @YandR_CBS tweeted about Daisy, I felt compelled to reply, mentioning the geographic Saskatoon, ON faux pas.

Pearl Graham said...

When they mention seedy Ottawa bar, I automatically think of the Market -- where the lumberjacks used to let off steam in the mid- to late-1800's. It's close to the water ... sort of!