Friday, January 30, 2009

randomness continued

So I guess I have a lot to reveal...
The randomness continues again...
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51. I clearly remember being bullied once, in Grade 4: I was walking home from school, Tony Campagna came up behind me and shoved my face in the snow for what seemed an eternity...I kicked and screamed and I thought I was going to die...he finally lifted his hand off my head and walked away without saying a word...[and for the record Mr. Campagna I did not tell Mrs. McKewan that you had a Playboy magazine in your school bag...]

52. To this day I regret not going to my friend Melissa's, father's funeral.

53. I no longer question my parenting skills on a daily basis...some days are just shitty from the minute we wake up, yes I still feel guilty when I yell at Matteo but it happens...and it doesn't make me a bad parent...

54. I wish I had a better relationship with my in-laws but they can't change who they are and I can't change who I am.

55. I am getting better at asking for help...I always thought it was a sign of weakness....

56. I hate labels...no one person can fit into a single mould...we are all a random blend of this and that...

57. Eventually I would like to go back and finish my second University degree in Sociology....just because....

58. If nothing else I hope I instill in my children at a very young age a love of words and books...because the whole world is open to them when they read....

59. The death of Andrew Segrue changed me...that was a very real lesson in mortality and that just because we are young we are not invincible...

60. When I was in high school...I was told by someone that I 'wasn't Italian enough'...that passing comment bothered me for a very long time.

61. On two occasions I had to be the bearer of bad news to family members [when my Nonna and Nonno died] and I hated having that role...

62. I wish I could erase my mother's anger and pain but I can't...I can only love her and be there for her when she needs to vent.

63. My mother gave up her life for almost 7 years to care for my Nonna and Nonno....I doubt I would have had the strength to do the same.

64. I wish more people got it but you truly don't realize what you have until it's gone.

65. Admitting you're wrong is one of the hardest things to do....but doing it can change so much...for the better.

66. I try to live by the 'unconditional love' mantra...but I find it hard sometimes...

67. I wish I could have done more for one of my cousins...but it was such a crazy time and I was young too...but I do feel like she fell through the 'family' cracks and that has always bothered me to this day...

68. I am open to the idea that one day religion will find me again but right now it's hazy at best...

69. I really should invest in a library card because I do indulge in the buying books thing way too much [even though they are always on sale when I do buy them]

70. I hated going to organized playgroups with other mom's...I'm not sure why but I did...I much preferred doing the 'going for a visit to a friend's house for lunch' and our kids just happened to be part of the equation....

71. I love watching 'end of the world' or 'world on the verge of ending' based movies....not sure why but I do....

72. Since I became a mom I realize the value of 'me time'...

73. Music is my island of sanity...

74. I try to make it a point to learn something new every day...

75. I read the obituary section in the newspaper on a daily basis...

76. I love when my husband holds my hand...

77. My heart melts every time Matteo says he loves me...

78. Yes its a cliche but being a mommy is the hardest job I have ever done...

79. When I'm downtown I always make it a point to have spare change in my pocket just in case I get asked by a homeless person....

80. I don't think I've reached my potential yet...not sure what it is but I'm not there yet...not even remotely...

81. I think every woman in their 20s should see the movie 'Real Women Have Curves' with America Ferrera...

82. Mean what you say and say what you mean or don't even bother...

83. I really and truly thought I was going to marry an Italian boy and not a Jewish kid from Montreal...

84. To this day I wonder why, after I graduated from high school, Patrick Major came to the Bay [where I worked] asking for me...left his name but never a message....

85. My husband and I have a 'don't go to bed angry with each other' policy sometimes it works, sometimes not so much...

86. It seems to happen so much lately, that I am no longer shocked when I hear someone is getting a divorce...how sad is that?

87. I used to be so concerned with what people thought of me....it took having two children but now I don't...I am who I am, take it or leave it.

88. My work ethic is attributed to my parents...they worked hard for everything they had...nothing was handed to them on a silver platter and nor do they expect things to happen that way...and for that I thank them.

89. If I won the lotto...one of the first things I'd do is knock down my parent's house and build them a new one...something that would include my mom's dream kitchen...

90. I've learned that while it's good to have expectations you have to accept that sometimes the packaging isn't what you expected...

91. I hope that I inherited my mom's 'i look 10 years younger than I actually am' genetic composition...

92. I admit that I brought my Bambi stuffed toy [from when I was on a kid] on my honeymoon and he slept with me for the first 6 months I was married....my husband is thrilled that Bambi is now on a shelf in the basement...

93. To this day I can't believe that I had very little contact with a certain neighbour and it took us moving to become good friends...funny how things work in life...

94. I was once told by a ballet examiner that I would never be a ballerina because I had the completely wrong body type...she called me stumpy to my face...no word of a lie...I hated taking ballet classes from that day on but kept doing it because my mom loved ballet so much.

95. I have kept all the conversations with my husband's Bubby Sadie to myself...she told me things in confidence and its a promise to her that I plan on never breaking.

96. For one month in Grade 10 I ran a side 'parent's signature forgery' business...it was a dollar a signature...I made $30.00

97. I am OK with writing certain people off in my life [and yes that includes family]...I honestly don't have the time or place for negativity and bullshit in my life...

98. Sometimes I am jealous of the bond between my brother and sister...

99. I am truly thankful for all that I have in my life.

100. I am blessed in so many ways.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Dear Madam,

My email address is onesoon@gmail.com. I wonder if you would be so kind and tell me what you mean by "Bubby Sadie". Does it mean your husband's mother? I'm an English teacher in Taiwan, by the way. Many thanks.

God bless,
James