A Letter

(A letter to my 4 1/2 year old son and 2 1/2 year old daughter)

I never really knew what power the words 'unconditional' and 'love' held until I looked into both of your eyes the moment the nurse handed you to me.
My heart swelled and I was overwhelmed. I was overwhelmed with love and fear.
Love, like I had never felt before and fear that I could one day somehow disappoint you.
This road we travel on together will be filled with many adventures and experiences.
There will be good times and bad but we will face them together.
Each day is a new chapter with no certainties on how they will unfold.
I will make mistakes as your Mommy this I know, but always know and trust that I love and only want what's best for you even though it may not seem like it at the time.
I will never ask you to be perfect, only that you try your hardest every day and work diligently to be the best 'you' that you can be.
I hope that you live your life with integrity, charity and a strong sense of self.
I hope that you will always try to do your best and never give up.
Always remember that you are always stronger than you think you are.
I hope that you never take things for granted and always be accountable for your actions.
Always treat others how you want to be treated.
Respect others and be open-minded - there is an entire world out there for you to discover and explore but never forget your home and where you came from.
Know that I will always be there for you – I will always be your friend but I am a parent to you first and foremost.
You will not always agree with me this I know.
I know that one day you will look at me and think that I don’t understand you and you’ll push me away and shut me out but I know those days will also come to pass.
All I ask is that you are always honest with me – we will deal with things as they come openly and honestly.
Be true to yourself, never sell yourself short.
Be true to your spirit and you will never disappoint me.
Face your obstacles and challenges and always admit when you are wrong.
Never be afraid to ask for help or to offer it to others.
Never lose your self respect and self worth – for it is you who will have to face that mirror in the morning.
It will be hard for me to stand by and watch you make mistakes but I will because it's through mistakes that we learn valuable lessons.
I will want to shelter you but one day I will let you go and make your own way in this world but always know that I am a phone call away.
Stand up for what you believe in and fight for those voices that are silenced and can’t fight for themselves.
Find a passion and nurture it - we all have a special gift.
Give back to the world and remember that the greatest gift you can give is giving back to those who have not.
Remember to be kind – a simple ‘thank you’ will always go a long way.
Learn to be a confidante.
Share stories.
Learn from the past.
Know your past.
Always keep your word – a promise is a promise after all.
Remember to have fun – live your life to the fullest and never waste a day wondering ‘what if’.
Friends will come and go but cherish each and every friendship - there are experiences and lessons to be learned from all of them.
Mind your manners.
Look at people in the eye when you talk to them - give them your complete attention.
Remember to hug.
Remember to say 'I love you'.
Remember to laugh.
Remember to cry.
Remember to breathe.
Remember those who came before you and those who will follow.
Know that it's OK to be alone and sit in silence every now and then - being along isn't a bad thing.  Learn to shut off the noise and embrace the silence and just listen to the calm and the quiet.  Serenity is a beautiful, wondrous thing indeed.
Take care of yourself - you were given this gift of life, don't waste it.
Don't forget to dream but also never forget to live in the present...for seconds, minutes, hours, days, years are things that you never get back once they pass.
Your hearts will break, your spirits will be crushed - these are life lessons that we all go through but never stray from knowing that things will get better...the light will always be shining at the end of the tunnel.
Be thankful in knowing that you are blessed.
And know that in the end all that matters is family and the love that they have for you.
These are my wishes for you.
To my son and my daughter I love you too much but it is one indulgence that I will never regret.

Love,
Mommy

Little minds...

I'm drained.

Emotionally, mentally and this bout of insomnia which I can feel coming on [it's going to be a long night] we can add physically drained to the mix in about four hours.

I'm drained because my 4 year old son wanted to talk about getting really sick, getting old, dying, angels and heaven. The things that go through little minds...it amazes me that they are as aware as they are...

It was not the conversational night-cap I was expecting when I went into his room at 7:30 to read him his three bedtime books. I was caught completely off guard and I stumbled my way through half-assed explanations filled with too many pauses, 'umms' and 'ahs'.

It was not my finest parenting moment.

He came to me to with lots of questions and seeking just as many  answers and I was lost as to how to dumb it down to explain to a 4 year old...a 4 year old who is wiser beyond his years.

The only experience my son has had with death is when my Zio Guido passed away this past Fall.

My son would often go for walks with my dad and they would stop in for visits with my aunt and uncle.
He associated those walks and visits with the balloons, cookies and treats he would ultimately get from my aunt and uncle.

Since my uncle's passing, my aunt moved and just recently sold the house that my son would visit on those evening walks with my dad.  Every time we drive by their old house he always asks if Zio Guido is coming back.

I explained to him, as best I could, that he wasn't coming back. Zio Guido had gotten really sick and he was now in heaven.  I told him that if he missed him that he could talk to Zio Guido in his dreams. I assured him that Zio Guido was safe and that he didn't have to worry about him.  Zio Guido was now an angel and he was happy about being that angel in heaven.

That explanation seemed to have satisfied his curiosity for a few months but lately the subject has resurfaced.  He's concerned about my aunt who is living in a new house by herself.  He often says in passing that he's sad for her because she must be really lonely because she has to eat all by herself and no one kisses her goodnight when she goes to bed.

In the last few days or so, he's become fixated with people getting older and dying.   I know this interest in the subject comes in waves...peaks and valleys kind of thing. And I know it's natural for him to ask these questions...I mean it's life...death is a part of it...but this Mommy is having a hard time digesting the 'how to handle it' part.

Last week he told me that when he got older he was going to be a scientist and invent a vitamin that would keep everybody he loved young so that they couldn't get old and die. Cue the heart melting and Mommy at a total loss at what to say.

Tonight he was really concerned that my dad hadn't been over for lunch in quite sometime...'Mommy I miss having Nonno come over for lunch.  I like when he brings prosciutto and mortadella and the panini.  It's fun having lunch with him.  I don't want to forget what that's like when he comes over for lunch because he's getting old...and one day I can't have lunch with him because he's in heaven and they don't have planes for me to visit and eat with him.  So Nonno should come over tomorrow because I don't want to forget. I don't like that Nonno's getting old. It makes me sad. It makes my heart break.'

Sometimes I forget that I'm talking to a 4 year old boy when I hear him say things like that...he's so curious, sensitive and intuitive way beyond his age.

Before he fell asleep, holding my hand in one hand and his stuffed Teddy and Freddy in the other, he kissed me on my nose and said,  'Mommy I don't want you to die, ever, I'd be so sad because you couldn't read me my books at night.'

And with that he went to bed.  And Mommy just watched him with a heart filled with so much love I though it might explode. I wished in that one single moment that I could stay almost-37 and he could stay 4 years old forever.

For almost 30 minutes I watched him...with tears streaming down my face.

Le sigh.

[photo credit: istock]

Iggy Peck Architect

My husband brought our 4 year old son this book back from his trip to Vancouver.
My son adores this book and loves the pictures. 
We've been reading it every night ever since he received it.  It's funny and charming and captures the attention and imagination of children and adults alike.
Iggy Peck is a creative and independent little boy who is not afraid to express himself.
He has a special talent and he's different from your typical second grader but Iggy embraces his uniqueness and shows that being different is good.


"Iggy has one passion: building. His parents are proud of his fabulous creations, though they’re sometimes surprised by his materials—who could forget the tower he built of dirty diapers? When his second-grade teacher declares her dislike of architecture, Iggy faces a challenge. He loves building too much to give it up! With Andrea Beaty’s irresistible rhyming text and David Roberts’s puckish illustrations, this book will charm creative kids everywhere, and amuse their sometimes bewildered parents."

Des Garvey - Nepean Outreach to the World [NOW]

Not sure why I haven't heard about NOW or Des Garvey before a few weeks ago....but all that matters is that I do now.

He is now my new local hero...he's man that I've never met but who has inspired me to do more.

He is a man who saw a need a world a way, made a promise to make a difference, and delivered on that word.

Des Garvey is 80 years old, a widow, the father of 7, grandfather of 11 and a hero to a town in West Africa.

Des Garvey wants to help people escape from one of the worst places on earth and come to one of the best.

His passion is war-torn Sierra Leone, which is - according to the United Nations - the least liveable country in the world.

The story goes hat upon his retirement 18 years ago, Des decided to celebrate his retirement with a trip to Africa.
Des had heard about the poverty in Africa but he wanted to see it for himself.
His plan was to travel all across Africa but he never made it past his first stop in the town of Bo, Sierra Leone.
What he saw there made him cancel the rest of his trip and make a pledge to help the children of this impoverished town.

Des returned to Nepean, Ontario, Canada and started the process of promoting solidarity between the City of Nepean, and the city of Bo, Sierra Leone.
Des also established a charitable non-governmental organization in 1989, Nepean Outreach to the World (NOW).

The children of Bo, Sierra Leone are victims of an 11 year civil war.
Unlike here in Canada, these children have never known the feeling of being safe. Instead, they have witnessed war, experienced horrible atrocities, seen the deaths of their parents and have been left orphaned.

Through the efforts of NOW, Des wants to create a future where these children have access to family love, education, health care and an overall better quality of life.
NOW's current project is to build a Learning Resource Centre.
When completed, the Learning Resource Centre will provide the children with a facility dedicated to self-learning, books and teaching materials, computers, software and other technology aids.

To accomplish this latest project, NOW needs to raise about $40,000.
The fundraising for this project started this past weekend with an auction at a local church.

If you can help out with a donation please visit the NOW website...
http://www.nepeanoutreach.com/index.html

Des has proved that a life of service can truly change the lives of people a world away....its all about what you do...acting instead of just talking about it....and for that reason Des Garvey is my hero.

Please spread the world...